Dianna M. Náñez
The Arizona Republic
September 16, 2006
Carrie Demas’ newborn baby lived only a few hours before his underdeveloped lungs gave out. Still in pain from a Caesarean-section operation, and grief-stricken, Demas could not bear the thought of leaving behind her son Parker Ethan Demas at the hospital morgue. But the handful of brochures about funeral arrangements that the well-meaning staff gave her did little to help provide the emotional strength it would take to prepare a memorial service.
“Our son just died. How can we plan a funeral?” Demas asked. “I was still on medication. . . . We’ve only lived here awhile, we don’t even know where the funeral places are. I felt like I couldn’t function.”
Seeing Demas paralyzed with heartache, a concerned friend called The Jordan Rader Foundation. She had heard of a Gilbert woman named Victoria Rader who ran an organization to help grieving families plan funeral services.
The friend told Demas she had contacted the foundation, and that Rader was waiting for her call. “I still don’t know why I called this person, because she was a stranger,” Demas said. “But now I call Victoria my angel.”
Rader, through her foundation, helped Demas plan Parker’s services and gave the family a financial contribution to help with funeral costs.
Demas said she could not have gotten through the overwhelming loss without Rader’s support. Since her son’s death last February, Demas has joined Rader in her work to console other grieving families. The two say they share a sad but strong bond, which only those who have lost their babies tragically and without warning could understand.
Rader founded The Jordan Rader Foundation shortly after her 2-year-old son was murdered in 2002. The non-profit provides financial and emotional support to families whose children die unexpectedly.
When Demas heard about the Gilbert Community Excellence Awards she knew she wanted to nominate Rader for the 2006 “Geneva Clay” Volunteer of the Year.
Demas was so inspired by Rader’s work and will to carry on after losing her son. She thought the award would let a wider community know about Rader’s giving spirit and the free community service offered through the foundation.
Rader will receive the award today at the reception held at the Trilogy Power Ranch Ballroom. Rader said she is honored, but rather than personal acknowledgement, she hopes the award will encourage people to donate to the foundation.
“We could help so many more families if we had more resources,” Rader said. “As far as I know we are the only organization that helps pay for funeral costs.”
She said that it is difficult to get funding to help families whose children have died.
“We help them so they don’t have to hold car washes and raffles just to pay to bury their child,” Rader said. “This is when they should be healing and remembering their last moments with their babies.”