East Valley Tribune

May 30, 2006

The frame around Victoria Rader’s license plate states: “Because children die.” She placed it there because hers did. Rader’s 2 1 /2-year-old son was killed in March 2002. Two years later, the Gilbert resident began a foundation to help families who have lost a child in a tragic, unexpected death.

Since then she has helped nine families.

The Jordan Rader Foundation, named after her son, provides financial, emotional and logistical support for families who have lost a child.

“There are not a lot of families out there with a couple of thousand dollars to bury their child,” Rader said. “I was thinking for those families that this is the last thing you have to do for this child and (you shouldn’t) have to skimp on it.”

Rader contacts families through media coverage and by word of mouth.

One of her volunteers, Carrie Demas, called her in February — but it wasn’t for information on how to help with the program.

Demas, whose son died in her arms 3 1 /2 hours after she gave birth to him in February, said it was the financial support that drove her to call Rader.

But she received more than what she was expecting.

“I desperately wanted to talk to someone who knew my pain,” Demas said. “What I was going through. I opened the door and the first thing she said was, ‘Can I give you a hug?’ She gave me a lot of ideas and something to focus on until . . . the funeral.”

Demas said she and her husband had just moved to Apache Junction and did not know the area.

Rader helped her find funeral homes and cemeteries nearby, and she even talked with funeral directors about the cost.

Rader said there are parental support groups for families who have lost a child — but there is no organized support for the families for the first five days after the death.

“It’s confusing and stressful,” Rader said. “You are asked a lot of questions about what you want (to do for the funeral) and you don’t even care. You don’t even know if you are making good decisions. You are just in a state of shock.”